Confused ?? So you are !!

I am not a confused soul..who searches for an identity..searches for  a destination...seeking for a path to move ahead..But I love confusing people..I like people wondering about me..what she is..where is she from..what is she upto..I like being the subject in others mind !! And thanks to the way i was brought up..my identity itself became like that..I came to chennai and having a fluent hindi..everybody believed that I am a north Indian..They used to crib about the place to me..and even i used to do the same..End of few months they used to freak out that am a tamilian.I simply cant forget those button like eyeballs poking out in surprise !! Oh how much I feel thrilled...

Ya confusing people is one of my hobby..I like being those mysterious gals...on whom people make theories..people dig into their history..origin...Even for my husband am a mystery..I wake up with a new face ..new mood...everyday..So that he can keep guessing who am I..He still has no clue if I am sweet or a bitch..am lovable or dangerous...am somone to be cared for or someone to be scared of...a cute teeny weeny girl or a macho woman...a strong hearted girl or a vulnerable piece..a bold gal who kicks everything on the way to make a life or an ordinary gal who lives making sacrifices !!And I dont think he ll ever get unravel it..

Well... when we moved to this flat in Chennai many thought that we are live-in couples..They had to enquire in the neighbourhood through our house owner(who is in US) that we have got married.And I made sure that I never use sindoor when I go out..wear a mangalsootra that rather looks like a chain(which is much thinner than the ropes that these southie aunties wear)..Also in chennai being romantic in public is a an offence..its meant  only for  people in affair..premarital or extramarital to show public display of affection..So no matter I like/dislike PDA..i make sure people in the colony watch us holding hands while taking a stroll..I make sure we sit in a romantic way in any restaurants..I simply get thrilled with the looks/comments people pass :)

I like using my creativity here as well.My husband does go crazy when I tell this idea... lets go to a new workplace..same office..let people know that we are married but not who our consort is..you start hitting on me..broach a conversation and date me.. and end up having extramarital affair with each other !! Wont it be fundoo...Or i ll go for an MBA..you come there as a prof..we can have a student-prof story..Or a boss-secretary affair(But I want this secretary to be paid as much as the boss !!)..People who are reading this..at least my friends wont get confused..as they know I am random..I am useless..to be thinking all this and blogging it as well..But this is something for which I can fall in love with myself again and again..

Posted by Suguna

Friday, March 12, 2010 at 11:02 PM , 1 Comment

Its only me...

I huddle you and be so intimate to you
So that you breathe, the same air as me

I keep buzzing in your ears all the time
So that even in silence you hear only me

I make you drown in my deep black eyes
So that you see the world, only through me

I make you sense every inch of my skin
So that in all your dreams, its only me

I let you loose....I leave you free
So that like a spring you come back to me

Finally I surrender my entire life to you
So that your soul mirrors "exactly mine"

Posted by Suguna

Wednesday, March 10, 2010 at 5:34 AM , 0 Comments

How to tame your man?

Men are never difficult and complicated..they are easily understood and so can be tamed easily.I have had many male friends..indirectly learnt many as husbands/partners through their wives/girlfriends.I have closely studied them..Alas ! there is nothing very interesting in a man..All they can think of is sports,sex and gadgets(order has been shuffled intentionally).A few may be intelligent... a few may be humorous... a few may be ambitious but the core remains the same.I got to study a man from a partner perspective as well.It is nice that he is understanding, ambitious and supportive.But then why should I ever tame him? Not that I want to trap him, not that I want him to be a lame servile creature, not that I want to bewitch or ensorcell him to my desires....but so that he becomes better everyday..stronger every moment.Every woman wants a bold, caring and disciplined man knowingly or unknowingly.She wants him to be superior to him, she likes him to lead..and that is what you tame a man for? He can learn mathematics from a teacher, politics from newspaper...engineering/management from a school or even porn from a website; But only a woman can teach him how to be a superior creature..Only she can tame him to perfection..tame him to become something that she herself will yearn for him as a soulmate for the ages to come.

Your man can be either intelligent/dumber than you.But in either cases there is no difference in the way he can be tamed. If they are intelligent than you...They show superiority..they dominate..they ll make you feel dumb..they can ask you to follow..but deep in the heart they know what they are...they know the world is raising a new challenge everyday..but they dont want to show their wives that they are insecure...Again if they are dumber than you..they dont need to feel insecure of the world..they have a wife around to give that feeling !! Men face defeat as if nothing has happened..Men often have this habit of hiding their frustration..not talking about their failures...As a wife you need not have an education or a background to understand him.. you just need to show the interest in him..You have to show that you trust him..You have to show that the entire universe may conspire against you..but I vow to stay with you....You may not know what he is upto..but tell him there is a better tommorrow..Tell him he is the best man you ever know..Tell him he ll lead the world and you as well...Once he is assured of all this..he will listen to whatever you say..Behave like a baby... He will pamper you...Behave like a bitch..he will surrender to you...Be immature...He ll try to teach you..Be innocent..He ll trust you...Be hurt..He ll heal you...Be happy...He ll laugh with you...Behave crazy....and trust me that ll drive him ten times crazier than what he is for you today !!......So end of the day behave the way..you want him to see you...For a man doesnt have any identity in himself..he is just a mirror..As a woman you have many faces... many identities..And he can only mirror the way you behave with him.....You possess him..he will do the same...You sacrifice..he will sacrifice...You cry for him..he ll cry for you...You show respect...he ll do the same...Man doesnt have a shape..You shape him..and give them an identity.....Go grab the husband material you are looking for...Once you find the ingredients you need in a man...make the best use of it in making the husband you want out of it....All men are easy..Tame him the way you want !!

PS - My dear husband if reading this..please dont freak out....You had all the ingredients any girl would look for plus the "secret spice" that only I get to cherish..and makes you an interesting husband..today and forever...

Posted by Suguna

at 5:13 AM , 3 Comments

Inseparable sides of a coin...

Lets talk about the man-woman relationship.This being my first and last relationship(even for him, I believe !!) this has been my learning curve.It was always a conundrum to me... Why do we need a man? I can suffice myself..I am independent..Why do I need a man afterall? And why do men need us? To satiate the two hunger they have..food and sex? It is a crazy deal putting a man and a woman together..where she keeps servicing..the man becomes the breadwinner..and the woman cooks..takes care of the children and spends her entire life for the family.I dont think I was ever ready for this...I wanted a man who can go beyond the carnal needs..look for a peer..A partner who does not follow him but walks hand in hand..And luckily that is what I have ended up doing..

I still remember his statement "A superman loses his entire charm if he can impress/entice the entire world..and when he comes home his wife ridicules him of being another fool wearing undergarments outside !!..There he gets transformed from superman to nothing".This is when I could substantiate the real need of a woman in mans life.After some point in relationship its not how attactive the woman is..how appealing she can be on bed..matters..What matters is her comfort..her concern and the support she offers him to be a better man.He needs a pat on the back for excellence both in relationship and the outside world...And there is nothing better than his girl giving him that pat.

Similarly for a woman..that too todays woman..who earns..who can take her decisions...shape her future herself...There is role of a man..She looks for strength..she looks for trust..somebody who can believe her for what she is..somebody who can understand her past..believe in her future and accept her today.No matter where the centuries have taken her..education has given her..Judo/Karate classes have given her..every girl needs a man to say "She is mine"..She likes being possessed(to certain limits)...When she is performing on the world stage...she needs a hand to wave and shout with pride "Thats my girl".Thats the only trick that can make a man get anything out of a girl..any sacrifice..any compromise..they are ready to burn themselves for their man...And I wont shun to say today that I also carry that Diva of being a woman !!

There is still more to it.We have other relationships..male-male friend, female-female friend..male-female friend..brother-sister and many..but what makes this male-female soulmate relationship so unique?? I dont think that anybody has an answer to it.When I am dressed to my best..some 50 people can give ogling stares..20 people can compliment and some 10 can envy..But my day is complete only when my man tells me "You are pretty".I dont know why? Throughout the 24 years of my life I have often heard the same sentence "You are looking cute/pretty/etc etc" But it was an electrifying feeling in the heart when the first time I recieved an SMS from my prospect on my BDay after our date "You can only look either beautiful/smashing".I felt so complete..I ponder about the feeling..But I am glad that there is a girl inside me...And only my man could wake her up..nurture her.I dont know much how he feels about the same..But he gets a magic feeling...to come out of the boring clothes..He has a purpose to be better..look the best...live for someone..Most of the men dont live in an organized way.They like their girl shouting at him..to wake up..to dress properly..to get a haircut..to clean the house..I know for sure that for the past 26 years..his mother would have been behind him in getting him organized..but there is nothing like when his girl does the same.Even men like attention...They do like a girl remembering what he was wearing on the first date..How much his eyes were twinkling when the first time they kissed...In fact they crave more for attention. For If a girl is decently good looking there can be many who ll notice..admire..But its not the same for a guy.He can be dressed in the best branded shirts(Say Tommy !!)...have a musculine body..But hardly will anybody remember how he looked in a stubble 10 days back.Only his girl can say that !!

It is a man need woman and a woman need man world.We are simply incomplete without each other..This of course is the reason..there may be may religions/cultures/beliefs accross the world but only thing that remains common across the boundaries is this man-woman relationship..be it in the form of live-in couples..be it marriage..or dating couple !!

Posted by Suguna

at 12:14 AM , 0 Comments

The joy of togetherness

I never believed that a support , mate a partner is required to excel in life and live a holistic life.I believe in myself..I believe in living for myself..I think I never cared about anybody else except me.I never believed in sacrifices.I know I am not born to become Mother Teresa.But life has its own way of teaching things and make you learn the basic rules of the society.

Like every ordinary/extraordinary single soul in life..I too fell in love.Not because I got married but because I can really feel him deep within.I dont understand the concept of marriage.If I stay with a person it is because I like him..he neednt be a husband..he neednt be anyone..It is not the string I wear around my neck that keeps me binded to my man. but it is the string between the heart that keeps us together.If it had not been for him I would have never lived a life..I would have lived a mechanical life..an obligation to have a male around me..an escapism from the ignominy from the society for being a single woman..that would have pushed me to get married.

If it had not been for him I wouldnt have realized I am a girl..a human..a red heart full of love and emotions.After an year of togetherness I can sense that this person is the whole world for me..and there is no real happiness beyond being with each other.I feel a little dumb and ordinary in saying this but heart says today that without love conquering the skies..conquering the mountains is never possible..even if it is..it goes waste..the purpose gets defeated.You need your love to push you towards your goal..cheer when you are winning..and give you shoulders when you lose..This somebodys presence can change things..a warm hug..a few caring words is much bigger than the inner strength( which once i believed is I have) and intelligence.You can fight the world..you can fight with yourself..but between the battles if your soulmate can stop for a while and say I am there for you...losing or winning becomes immaterial.I am not immortal..I am not an Angel..I am just another girl longing for the togetherness..longing for love..longing for solace..longing for eternal unision...

The chapter of "Togetherness" has been added in my book..and I dont really care if the coming chapters have sorrows/pain/success..All I want is to cherish this "Togetherness" otherwise life is empty..I remember my husband saying during courtship that "love cannot exist in vaccum"..After an year I would say that "Nothing can exist without togetherness" !!

Posted by Suguna

Tuesday, March 9, 2010 at 11:06 PM , 0 Comments

I want you..

I want to kill the solitude I was hounded by
I want your arms and feel cozy within

I want to design the clock for our love time
I want to design a basket to store our kisses

I want to dedicate you an entire rose garden
I want to dedicate you a million money trees

I want the sweet moments to shine high like corruscating stars
I want the bitter talks to be buried deep under the sand dunes

I want to make some promises that will never be broken
I want to hold the candle for you in the darkness

I want to be both chick and the chicken you need
I want to be your only paid and unpaid prostitute

I want to hold your hands and say I love you today
I want to love you like never before today

Posted by Suguna

Thursday, March 4, 2010 at 1:35 AM , 0 Comments

Subscribe to: Comments (Atom)

About this blog

Contributors